It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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