he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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