You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
