Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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