i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
