Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
