You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
