I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize