): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
