If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
