so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
