I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
