I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
