Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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