I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
