One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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