I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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