Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
