I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
