i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
