Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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