It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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