She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
