just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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