Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
