Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
