i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
