how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
