nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
