There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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