i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
