I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
