never play flip cup with pint glasses
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
