What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
