My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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