so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
