I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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