So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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