you guys were way drunker than both of me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
