he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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