I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
