Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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