I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
