I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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