i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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