And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
