i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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