i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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