That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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