Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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