I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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