So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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