so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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