How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
