hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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