You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
