Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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