I hate your face
You can't special order awesome
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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