I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
