HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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